They tried to do....something

It doesn't really work...

A turreted garage. What’s going on up there?

When a turret merges into something else, it is called "engaged" with the something else.  This is an engaged turret and dormer.  It could be possible to get to it through an attic or half-story, but I suspect it is purely decorative, that is, useless.

It may not be the biggest, but wow is it ugly.

Wouldn’t call it a McMansion because of its size, but wtf is that turret/second story window monstrosity