Posting here has helped before, so here I am again.

In a little over 2 weeks i'll get the sentencing for my DUI, it will for sure be at least a year suspended licence and criminal record. I am 25 years old.

Still don't have a job, and I feel absolutely terrible about it. My girlfriend is passionate about skiing, and she really wants me to go with her but I won't be able to afford it. She told me today she does not want to "make out with a guy just because he ski's", so I guess that makes me feel a little better but still the possibility is there. She's been quite cold in the past month, probably stemming from me not providing enough excitement. I could provide more excitement if I had more money to do cool activities but I just don't know what the root cause of it is. The coldness makes me feel so fucking lonely.

The spirituality side of is seemingly the only thread I am hanging onto. All the books and lectures and read help me quite my mind, but only temporarily. I mean, I think to myself, what if the truth that "we are all one" is actually true. How can I, an anxious, afraid, lonely individual actually be at one with the conciousness of the universe.

Any ways just wanted to talk to someone, I hope this made sense.