I'm sorry

I need your help. It started with a dream, and now its everywhere. I can't explain, I see it and i'm shaking so bad right now I keep messing up my typing and this isn't working. You ever notice how many doors or windows there are everywhere? It's all i think about. I swear to god. Sorry, I'm rambling. Let me start over.

So about a week ago I started this thing I had found, it was meant to help me sleep. I have an anxiety disorder, if i have something to be anxious about I can't sleep, simple as that. I'm anxious as hell right now about exams and after all this shit that's been happening, I just really need someone to talk to, someone who doesn't know me or any of my bullshit history and can just fucking listen. Please.

Right so I started this new way of sleeping, some fucking bullshit I read on this whacked up forum and the very first night I have this dream. This waking dream. I'm in the middle of my room (my bedroom is a converted attic, it's split into a room with a bed and a wardrobe under this low ceiling, the other bit has a couch and a tv and a desk) and sitting on the couch. I turn around and there's just this thing. I don't know what to call it or how to describe it. I'll try my best but i'm gonna have to post this soon or call someone because the more I think about it the more I want to look. It has a skeletal looking head, all black, and tiny eyes that i swear are set so deep in its fucking skull that it's impossible. It is just sitting there looking at me with its toothy grin, and I just sat there looking at it. I didn't do anything I just stared at it, its face twisted every few seconds and its grin became more and more malevolent and I didn't even move. I don't know how long I sat there, but I woke up there that morning sitting on that couch.

My first instinct was that it's just a dream, forget it and move on. So I get off the couch and open the door to the bathroom in the attic, which has a mirror at the far end. I went to brush my teeth and after I put the toothpaste on the brush I look up back to the mirror to brush my teeth and it's there. Standing behind me with it's black hand on my shoulder. I freaked, and fell down as I turned around, but there was nothing behind me. I literally sat there for about 5 minutes whimpering. I grabbed the mirror and turned it around before brushing my teeth and went downstairs to tell my parents. Of course they didn't take me seriously, told me to go to bed earlier and get more sleep next time. That was fine though, maybe I was tired I thought. So that same night I didn't turn my mirror back around, and I did my routine and went to bed. It took me a while to get to sleep, probably around 4am, and though I was worried about having another nightmare I had faith that I wouldn't. I believed this shit wasn't happening.

Night two I have the same dream, I wake up in the same spot, and I had a panic attack right then and there. First thing I did was grab my laptop and google search recurring nightmares and the like. About three hours into it i'm reading this story about some woman. She had this recurring dream every night where she would be sitting in her bed reading or something and she would hear this sharp screech for a split second. Without thinking she would lean forward out of bed quiet as a mouse to listen for it again, and after a few seconds when she was satisfied it was nothing, she would lean back and this horribly deformed man would be lying beside her. She had this dream every night for a couple months, with it getting worse and worse. She knew what was going to happen but it was so instinctive to lean forward, it was like she never knew she had fallen asleep. Sometimes he would be beside her, sometimes he would crawl out from a dark corner of the room and up to her . She couldn't take it, and after long enough she eventually took her own life. Apparently she couldn't differentiate between her reality and her dreams and thought that she had finally managed to regain control. She was trying to wake herself up.

So I read about a few of these cases and none of them ended well. I continued on with my life, persistent in my belief it would all just go away, all things must pass right? Third night i'm on my laptop and the power cable comes unplugged. I'm on reddit enhancement so the screen is dark, and with the cable coming unplugged it becomes darker. In the reflection glare on the screen I can see it behind me. I hesitated about turning around and then I heard what must be its growl. Fuck i'm shaking so bad. If you close your eyes your other sense kick up a notch. Try it if you don't believe me. You begin to hear everything around you, you can almost sense the air around you as it fluctuates through the room. Listen behind you, there are empty spaces if you listen closely. Spaces you can't hear, where your senses have a blind spot. That's where it starts, it didn't even register with me until after I looked away. It slowly grows louder until it becomes so disturbing...I couldn't stop myself, and I cried for a full 20 minutes with this noise permeating the air. Every time I blink I'm afraid to hear its noise. It starts like a low vibration but it picks up until it's all you can hear. The sound of hidden darkness between spaces, swarming around you.

Yesterday feels like a distant memory. I didn't sleep at all after seeing it, I kept catching myself listening for it and I would have a small fit of panic, realising that I was looking for it and probably inviting it in. I went to talk to my friends, my parents but none of them knew what to say, they thought I just wanted attention. Every time I look in a mirror or reflective surface I can hears its noise, and sometimes I can see it sitting in the corner of the room, smiling at me as if it knows it's only a matter of time. Fucking waiting for me. I can't take it.

I was fine avoiding mirrors. I felt a small sense of victory last night when, in a desperate surge of strength, I covered up every mirror or window in the house. I turned on every light and opened every door. My parents thought I was just having another episode. When I woke up this morning, after having the dream yet again, the doors where closed. I could see out of the corner of my eye that the mirror in the bathroom was turned around again. I must of done it in my sleep, how else could this shit have happened? My parents have learned not to intervene when i'm having an episode and just to let me ride it out, but this is different. I don't know where they are! It's like they're gone, but all the cars are here. The dog is gone but his leash and food is still here. I went downstairs to look and came back up to get my phone. I went into the bedroom bit to get my phone and called them. They were out of service. I started to panic, but I remember my anxiety techniques and looked outside at the sky and breathed deeply. After a good fifteen minutes I had calmed down so I opened the door back to the other part of my room, only it didn't open there. As I crouched down to get under the low ceiling and entered the new room, I looked up and realised that the room on the other side was different. It was full of mirrors, like those fucking elevators where you can see millions of yourself from all different angles. The door closed behind me and I could feel my heart skip a beat. I fell to the floor and huddled in a corner of the octagonal room. I realised my reflections weren't of me though, they were all smiling at me with that toothy grin. Their eyes were sunk in, their hands were long and claw-like. They were all moving independent of me, pressing up against the glass. I realised that one must be behind me and scampered to the middle of the room. They were trying to claw their way through, the sound of the screeching nails on glass was deafening. My knees were so weak I felt they were going to break under me. I couldn't breathe, right now typing this i'm hyperventilating. Why the fuck is this happening to me? I wasn't in that room long, I couldn't take it, I got the adrenaline and recklessness that comes with absolute fear and I just tried to charge one of them. The glass broke in front of me and the next thing I know i'm falling out the window of the third floor attic.

I don't know how long I lied there in the rain. My whole body was numb before I was thoroughly soaked. Time seemed to be inconsistent, like I was waiting for some hellish fever to break. To be honest I was just relieved to be outside at that point in time. Thinking about it now makes me feel the tiniest bit serene, as if there is always some sanctuary in any kind of hell. I don't remember what happened leading up to it but I woke up in a paramedic truck. They had the oxygen mask and everything yet I didn't see a single soul there with me. I have broken my collar bone, wrist, and a couple bruised ribs according to my chart here. I was terrified still, as I couldn't move my neck to look around, that thing could of been watching me from anywhere. More importantly I just wanted to see another person's face. It doesn't matter now. As I sit here in this hospital bed telling you this, I can see it, the thing just grinning back at me. In the mirror opposite my bed it just stares at me from the corner of the room. Every time its grin twists it catches my eye and i'm beyond fear at the thought of it moving closer toward me. No one has visited me in the past 8 hours. I don't know where my parents are, and I haven't heard nor seen anything in the corridor outside my room since I woke up in this bed. I just want it to end. Please.