Attracting a lot of subs, need help getting comfortable

So basically here's the deal. I'm a 23 yr. straight male and for whatever reason I have only attracted women who like being subs. I'm not shy but I'm a nice guy (not like "nice guy" but generally very kind and outgoing but soft spoken person) and don't really scream dom in my personality (or what I imagine that would look like). However literally every girl I've slept with had been interested in me being a dom. Now I can do the stuff as I see pretty regular (not saying any fetish is irregular but less common) like spanking, biting, hair pulling, and other stuff on the light side of it. Where it gets difficult for me is dirty talking, choking, and feeling like I'm hurting someone when they AREN'T enjoying it.

It wouldn't be as much of a problem if it weren't for the consistency of my partners wanting this from me, and I have no idea whats causing that coincidence, but the most common things I'm having more trouble doing is choking (I'm quite strong and tend to fully cut off air circulation on accident when I'm enjoying myself or sometimes when I apply an pressure at all), dirty talk when it gets to a semi-degrading level (calling someone a slut, bitch, etc... I always feel like I'm going to say something that crosses a line) and feeling like I'm hurting someone when I don't really know if they are enjoying it or not (partner seems like she's in SEVERE pain but is actually enjoying it and gets mad when I stop).

Now in principle I have no problems doing these things, I really like pleasing others and am really willing to do pretty much anything to meet my partners needs as I get off when my partners are truly enjoying themselves. The issue is getting more comfortable doing these things and although I really want to so that I can please my partners more I just don't know how to be more comfortable and was hoping for advice. Thanks very much!