Too ashamed to tell people my 15-month marriage was a mistake

Honestly, we rushed into getting married - I hold my hands up to that. We had only been dating for 7 months (friends for a couple of years beforehand) but got so caught up in the impulsivity of it. My dad died very suddenly when I was a kid - like literally just dropped dead at his office, at 36 years old - so I’ve always had the mentality of ‘do what makes you happy, because you never know’. So I did, and it’s how we (Me F/27 and him, M/25) ended up getting married.

I know how it sounds - you got married after 7 months and now you’re surprised it’s not working out?! Frankly I know SO many couples who dated for years and years, got married and then divorced very quickly, so I don’t believe that the length of the relationship is a great indicator of how successful a marriage will be - but I’m already super aware that if I tell people I’m unhappy, they’ll just be all ‘I told you so!’.

Why am I unhappy? Honestly, I feel like I’m alone. I consider him in everything I do, make every effort to support him, even financially support him at times - and I get so little back. I have to ask him time after time to do things (and then get told I’m nagging). We have opposite work schedules, but when we finally have time together he automatically makes plans to see his friends. Just like petty, mundane shit that builds up and up until I just think, fuck this? Why am I with someone that makes me feel like I’m single?

I keep thinking about leaving, but we have a cat and so many shared friends and I have no idea where I’d go or what I’d do. Every time I talk to him it ends the same way, with nothing changing.

I don’t know. I don’t know why I’m posting here knowing that I’ll probably get people telling me I married too fast and too young (I absolutely did). I just feel too ashamed to talk to anyone I know. Tbh I just want to pack a case and do a runner to another country but, y’know, pandemic.