2X, how do I become strong? I have a plan in place to kill myself...over a boy I don't even know.

I realize there's a problem with letting him control me like this but I just feel overwhelmed by the thoughts of suicide and I feel like if I can't be with him (I can't--he has a girlfriend, and I've never met him) I don't have anything left to do here. I don't know how to make him control me less.

I have a plan ready, and a date. How do I stop being so weak so I don't have to do this?