A couple of questions regarding anal masturbation and hygiene.

Today it hit me that I wanted my anus to smell good, so I figured I'd rub some soap on my finger and smear it on (and inside) my anus - but then I remembered reading somewhere that you shouldn't put anything up there, not even dousing with water.

My ass (I'm a male) is EXTREMELY tight. Especially when I'm in the shower, because of the rubber-like texture water gives your sphincter. On a related sidenote, my PC muscle (the muscle you use to flex your penis with, and hold your pee) is ALWAYS tensed up (by default it is tensed up, I can't help it, it's just my go-to state, always has been) when I masturbate, and thus anal masturbation really feels unnatural for me since that is the same muscle which tightens your sphincter, and I can not for the life of me relax that muscle when I'm masturbating.

This leads to a VERY small entryhole even when I'm aroused and lubed up properly, and getting more than a finger in is extremely hard.

That in itself is fine, I suppose, but here is my question(s):

I used some liquid soap on my finger to slide it up my butthole, because without it I could NOT get my finger up. It's literally impossible, especially with rubber-skin due to the water. After inserting the finger with soap as lube, it started to burn very intensely, it actually freaked me out quite a bit. The purpose of this was to make my anus smell good, and to clean it out properly, as every time I wipe my ass after having been on the toilet, no matter how far in I press the paper, there is always some more feces that appear on the paper.

I have extremely good PC muscle control, and I push until there's nothing more to push - regardless of this, I still can't seem to empty my bowels completely, and thus anal masturbation gets messy, ie. feces on my finger(s) after I'm done.

There seems to always be some feces left no matter how hard I push, or how long I sit, or how short I sit on the toilet. I don't think it's because of my diet, either, just that my ass is EXTREMELY tight.

With that said, what is the best way for me to clean out my ass properly? Do I just try forcing some water up there with the shower head and push the water out? I did that today, and as I thought, there were some nuggets that came out.

Is it dangerous to douse with a shower head? With simply water and no soap? Or is soap dangerous? I'm so lost. Please help.

This is also very important to me in case I meet someone who is into ass play and would enjoy rimming. I'm very selfconscious about such things (as anyone would be) and it'd make me feel at such ease if I could figure out how to do this properly, preferably with a nice smell as well, not just cleanliness, but I'll take what I can get.