ToR crashes upon hitting 'play' on the Launcher and I've tried everything I can think of!!!

I got ToR for Christmas and I have YET TO PLAY IT!!! While my laptop could run it smoothly, I forgot it's charger so I'm attempting to play on a desktop that's strictly worse...

• Intel Pentium 4 CPU 3.20GHz (2 CPU's), ~3.20GHz
• 2.5GB of RAM
• 256MB Intel video card (chipset?)

I'm not the most tech savvy, particularly when it comes to all this computer spec jargon, but while my processor and RAM are sufficient for the game, my video card just BARELY makes the grade (I think) for ToR's minimum system requirements.

I've tried reinstalling DirectX, Disabling Vsync from the settings ini, dropping the computer to a 16bit color scheme, dropping my resolution, and a myriad of other suggestions.

Save me reddit! Help me begin my addiction!!!!!