This is not scary, update 3

This is an update to the following posts:

This is not scary. I am not totally creeped out. Ah, FUCK.
followed by

This is not scary, update

and then

This is not scary, update 2

This is update 3.

During the last couple of days at work, things have been a bit more normal. I spent some time in the morning focusing on not letting my personal aura, vibes, or whatever you want to call it reflect the experiences I've been going through, and kept that in the back of my mind throughout the shift. That seems to have had the desired effect, in that I didn't see much in the way of unusual behavior from my customers.

The change guy didn't come back, either, and no one acted like I was over-reacting when I described his behavior. Even the manager who discounts everything I say agreed that he might be feeling us out. I do feel pretty good about that, because my choice to tell him we were keeping our cash low due to recent robberies may have spared our store the experience.

Last night, I didn't even try to go upstairs. I was so exhausted and sore that I just lay down on the couch and fell asleep. It wasn't even all that late. I fell asleep so fast that I didn't even lay there long enough for anything to happen before I did. I had another dream, which I posted here.

I woke in the middle of the night, and was awake just long enough to realize I'd been dreaming about the house from the party dream I had a couple of nights ago. I dozed off wondering about that. I don't remember dreaming anything else in the night.

The fact that I almost hit my husband this morning, though, has bothered me all day long. I know that I am on edge from these experiences, and that I'm kind of bent on self-defense right now. I know that the feeling of being repeatedly threatened can make someone react that way, and that in the past, I've been that touchy with almost everyone... but this is my husband, the person I trust more than anyone else, anywhere, ever... even myself. Even when I was that jumpy all the time, even when we weren't dating yet, I always felt safe with him and protective of him, and never would have lashed out like that.

It's not just wrong. It's not me.

I'm horrified that anything could make me do that.

I've been thinking through the events of the past few days, and especially last night's dream. I have the feeling that the female and the malevolent male are fully capable of totally smashing me to bits, but that they want something from me that they won't be able to get if they do that. I have this sense of restraint and maneuvering coming from them, like they're trying to coax something out of me that they can only get from me if they don't try to forcibly take it. I could be wrong, but I think that's what that key on my wrist represented. I feel like it's important that I protect it from them, but I don't know what it is or why it must be kept safe. It feels, though, like I won't be the only one in danger if I give it up.

I've also been wracking my brains trying to figure out how and from where I could possibly know the tall woman, who keeps hinting that somehow, I do. I have had paranormal experiences before, but I truly do not have any inkling of running into anything like her. I'd think a 7 foot tall Amazon-like social butterfly would stand out enough in my memory for me to not be so stumped by this.

Continued here