Any suggestions on how to help break two people up (specifically a gay couple)?
Brief background: I'm a 29yo gay guy who met a 23yo gay guy on a dating site about a year and a half ago. First date we had a great night together and began seeing each other on a regular basis thereafter. Early on I decided that while he was a good person I ultimately didn't want to date him, so we kept it somewhere between "friends with benefits" and casually dating (he was more interested in dating me than I was interested in dating him at the time). After about three months he figured I just wasn't interested in being his boyfriend and began dating other guys. It was around that time that I realized I was actually falling in love with him (I know, terrible timing). I subsequently told him I was ready to be with only him, but he said by that time his heart had moved on. After that we both remained very close and I have continued to fall deeper and deeper in love with him. We have had several talks about this (he knows I am in love with him), and he has said that he loves me but that he isn't in love with me (however, he has left it open-ended by stating that one day his heart may catch up to mine on the matter). Over time I have watched him enter into boyfriend relationships with three other guys, the first two failed and the third one he has been in for about two months. I have continued to be very involved in his life through all of this and we remain very close (I am essentially his best friend). Before his most recent relationship things were headed towards us being boyfriends (I'm not being delusional with that; you'll just have to trust me for the moment), but this new guy (who is 20 years old) swooped in an derailed that. Though right now I'm just observing, I'm ultimately looking for real suggestions on how a person in my situation could go about increasing the chances of these two breaking up. Before you comment please understand that I don't want to hear: 1. about how I shouldn't do anything since it will probably happen anyway because of the maturity level of most gay guys that age, 2. that it is morally wrong for me to try to expedite this or meddle in their affairs, or 3. any other suggestions/comments that extend beyond what I'm actually asking for (including ones about analyzing my own motivations). I'm quite intelligent and understand the implications of my potential actions, the karmic risks, and all of the moral consequences related to this situation. Likewise, I am also aware of the incredible risk one takes in being found out while attempting to do something like this and the potential for ruining the trust, friendship, or any potential future relationship with the guy I'm interested in. I AM VERY AWARE OF ALL OF THIS, so please no lecturing, moralizing, or comments about what a bad person I am for even considering this... please just focus your comments on expanding to the list of ideas of potential ways in which to increase the probability of causing two people (in this case, these two gay males in their early 20's) to break up. Here is a list of ideas that are examples of the kind of suggestions I'm looking for and have thought of so far:
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create fake profiles of either one of them (or both) on gay dating sites in expectation of one or both of them finding the other one's profile, either from their own discovery or from on of their friends seeing the profile and reporting back. They could easily deny it and say it is a fake profile, but it plants a seed of doubt.
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Create a fake facebook profile, befriend one of them, then after some casual back and forth conversion ask if they are an open couple since "I" saw his boyfriend on a gay dating site and send them the link of the other one's [fake] dating site profile. Again, one could convince the other that it's a fake profile, but it plants a seed of doubt.
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Send an anonymous email to one of them saying that "I" am going out with his boyfriend (or hooking up with him) and wanted to fess up. Though this has no proof associated with it, it will be another avenue for causing distrust.
I haven't done any of this stuff I mentioned above, but they are examples of the kind of suggestions I'm looking for. Thank you.
PS - I know how juvenile and/or evil those things may sound, so please be aware that I already acknowledge the disgust many people will have with this (there is no need to comment regarding that). Though I have no way of convincing anyone on here otherwise, I am neither a bad person nor obsessive/unstable... I think we all have at one point or another wanted to do this. Right now I'm just brainstorming to see how far one could go with stuff like this... thus far I have made no real plans to carry any of these things out.
Posted Dec 29, 2011, 5:02 AM UTC