help

m21 here. Was with ex for well over 4 years. Ended 4 weeks ago.

So here I am. I'm lying on the couch just like i have been for the past 4 weeks. Cant stand the thought of sleeping in my bed without her. I'm no longer able to sleep at night (it's 6am here now), which makes the whole thing more unbearable - everything is worse at night. I'm drinking almost every day, and I just feel so lost and alone.

Our relationship was far from healthy the last two years. Jealousy and arguments became normal for me, and my whole life was centered around her. We knew all along that this couldn't go on, but we kept trying. It was the first real relationship for both of us, and neither of us could imagine a life without the other.

Its weird. I've always been the guy with the good advice who knew what to do. But now, I'm fucking lost. I'm moving to a new city in 4 days, which I guess is good. I cant stand the thought of interacting with new people though, starting school and all that.

This turned out to be more of a rant than I'd hoped, but its a cluster of emotions all tangled up, and I cant really sort it out. I guess I just need someone to say something. I have no friends I can really talk to. Our relationship made my friend list a lot shorter as well.. I feel like crying, but I cant, so I have that feeling you get when you're about to cry constantly.

tldr; I feel like I'm walking under water. Its lonely and weird, and I just dont feel like I can handle this shit.. I think I'm looking for someone to tell me how to carry on