My Past is om-noming away at my future

Everything is falling apart, and it feels as though I can only sit and watch as my world is blown to pieces.

I don't have a great past. Broken family life, financial struggles. I was in an abusive relationship for three years that ended only after he proceeded to rape me. I've struggled with depression, self-injury, and eating disordered behaviors. I've been in and out of therapy and hospitals.

Finally, I'm starting to make progress. At nineteen, I live with my significant other, work two part-time jobs and attend community college full-time. I pay my own bills and take care of myself. I take my medication regularly, and have stopped cutting and purging.

I was on children's Medicaid. It was revoked two weeks ago, on the grounds that I make too much money (I make about $850/month). I can no longer attend therapy and will soon run out of medications. My car broke down, and it will cost more to fix than the car is actually worth. My abusive ex has attempted to contact me, dragging me back into old thought patterns. My hours at work have been cut drastically; next week, I work a total of nine hours.

I want to cut. I want to lock myself away where no one can ever get to me, where no one can ever hurt me again. I know I have it pretty good; I'm not starving, I have a place to live. I'm in love with a wonderful man and have a great family. But I've been hurt, and I can't seem to shake the feeling of impending doom.

MMFB?