Feels good to finally see the world without the looking-glass ...

Hey guys, I'm new here. Just found this subreddit about a week ago, and it's safe to say I'm loving it. I'm an RM who returned 4 years ago, haven't been active in the church for just over a year. I won't bore you with my whole life history, but suffice it to say I was disillusioned with the church after my parents divorced a month after I got home from the mish. It was hard for me to see how much the church and my family's belief in it sort of amplified the tension between us and made me feel alot worse about it. Of course now I realize it was for the best and my parents are both much happier now.

But I began what at the time I felt was a vengeful, destructive path by oh no! watching pornography, masturbating, drinking and smoking weed. I felt terrible. I went through a couple of those "repent and try to feel better" phases. It just never stuck. I moved a year ago and have only been to church once or twice during that period of time, but still I clung to the fact I was still a TBM and was eventually going to return to church, repent, find a nice girl and live happily ever after.

During the past couple of weeks I've stumbled upon this and r/atheism and it's really opened my eyes. I can't tell you how good it feels to look at not only the church but the entire world without the distortion of my mormon conditioning. Having an open mind has literally changed my life. I feel happier. I feel more motivated than ever to be a good person. I feel closer to and appreciate my family more than I ever have. Now I've only just begun the journey and I still have a LONG ways to go but I wanted to ask a couple of questions.

*I wish to finally do some objective research on the church's history and doctrine. A lot of what I find is produced or published by other churches and faiths, therefore it it almost always twisted and biased TOWARDS the opposing belief and tries to convert the reader. Can you direct me to some sources that are, for the most part, objective? (I'm not opposed to Atheist refutations either, it seems that's the direction I'm headed.)

*When I have reached the point where I feel confident in my new found knowledge, is it necessary for me to "come out" to my family and friends? I feel like it would devastate many of them, and I think it would be better if it were information that was on a need to know basis. (Some background info: My immediate family is mostly non-active, except for my mother and my grandparents. I see my father and my brothers the most, they would be supportive.)

EDIT: Wow. I can't express my gratitude to you guys. Thanks for the kindness and the support. You've given me a solid start with so much excellent information and sources, I have many days of studying ahead of me. The feeling of freedom I have is unparalleled with anything I've felt in my life. I was pretty hardcore indoctrinated, even so far as being made AP on my mission. It's just so refreshing to see the exMo community be so kind and not the hateful, bitter and spiteful people that you hear about from within the bubble. I was really taken aback by it.