A myriad of problems that i'm already running into with new and blossoming relationship.

Hello, I am a 28 year old man hailing from a mid-sized city residing in an urban community dating 24 year old woman hailing from a small suburb outside of my town.

I met her about 4 months ago, and immediately knew that she was something special.

To give you a bit of background on our contrasting lives...

I grew up as an only child, attended a large school, I have tons of friends from all walks of life, play in bands and have a very lighthearted approach to life.

She grew up as an only child, attending a small, predominantly white school. Has a small core group of friends, maybe 5-6 people.

Issue 1: When we met, she constantly talked about her friends and how great they are. One in particular, a supposed best friend, she talked about the most. This friend of her's got married a few years ago to a military man, and moved thousands of miles away to be with him. Thus spiraling my girlfriend into a deep depression where she sat and moped and smoked ounces of weed a week. This friend is now back in town as her husband is on deployment on the other side of the globe.

I went to their place to hang out/meet her friends. I'm generally a very open minded person when it comes to meeting new people. I realize that everyone is different. When I get there, I can tell that everyone is uneasy about my presence. They ask me questions about myself, but as I respond, I am quickly cut-off when some other minor distraction that enters the arena, making me feel like they don't really care to get to know me. By the end of the night I am able to wade through the bullshit, turn on my charm and have them laughing at my jokes. Then next day, her and I talk, and she takes it upon herself to tell me that her best friend "doesn't like me". I asked why, to which she replied : " she is afraid that you'll take me away". I thought to myself : " what kinda selfish bitch acts like this? She gets married, moves to the other side of the country, but expects her to stay exactly the same upon her arrival". Being the compulsive person I am, I told her that I thought that was stupid, that I am NOT dating her friends and that I don't have to appease anyone. I found all of this to be highly illogical as all of my friends who have met her think that she's the best thing since sliced bread, love her, and support our relationship, thus proving that they care about me. None of my friends would tell me otherwise, even if they feel ill toward her. They are mostly mature enough to stay the fuck out of my business. They know that when I make my bed, that I have to sleep in it. So I approach said friend on neutral ground. I don't attack her. I just tell her that " I just want us to be cool for my girlfriend's sake". She sits down and tells me that she's very lonely sans husband, I totally get that. And that she is jealous of all couples. She also stated that she knows that she is wrong for putting my girlfriend in these situations, trying to separate us when we go out to smoke, go into the kitchen, or away to steal a kiss privately (i'm not a fan of PDA in the first place). She also told me that I'm the best thing that's ever happened to my girlfriend, seeing as how i'm not a pushover, will call her on her bullshit, stick up for her, and support and love her. A wave of calm came over me. But of course this was shattered by her best friend again, as she is insistent on previously stated behavior. This person seems to want my girlfriend all to herself regardless of my girlfriend's happiness and well being.

Issue 2: My girlfriend is believed to have Mediterranean blood, giving her an exotic and almost mixed (black/white) look. She is very gorgeous. She is unclear as to who her father was, but he is believed to be Mediterranean. I have a sneaking suspicion that he could have been black. But this is not the issue. If she were purple with green hair, I would still care just as much about her. The issue is how her friends tease her about her appearance. They call her a "nigger". They make fun of her as she is plus sized. Now, don't get me wrong. My friends and I can be downright mean when it comes to ballbusting, but it's never an issue of race. I have hung out in circles where people make fun on my race, and then I get new friends. Her friends even make fun of my race. (i'm of Hispanic decent) I don't like it much. She tells me to never stick up for her to her friends. That it's all in jest. She acts like it doesn't affect her. But she hates it. She has a facade of being tough as nails and that nothing hurts her. She IS in fact a tough girl. But this is just blatant disrespect as far as I can see. I don't want to date a group's whipping girl. She is strong, intelligent, creative, independent, and just about everything else in between that I could ever ask for.

Issue 3: She works a lot! And most times, especially in today's economy, this is good. But in this case, it's leaning toward not. She works for her parents. They own a local bakery, and only the 3 of them run the whole place. They supply much of the area's boutique breads, confections and cookies. If any of you know anything about this line of work, you will know that it isn't the easiest thing in the world, and with only 3 people working, there is much to be done. She works mostly no less than 16 hours a day, 7 days a week. When she's done, her friends make her come out and get high with them. She said she almost never sleeps, and NEVER HAS DREAMS! This is due to high stress, and low sleep. She is trapped at this job. Her parents bought her a car, and told her that if she were to quit/move out of the house, before it is paid off, they will take it back from her. That's right, I mentioned her moving out. She's never had her own place away from her folks, and yet insists that she "knows everything about life". She hates working with food. She likes to be active and do outside work as she is a Tom-Boy of sorts. Which i find to be both attractive and empowering. They buy her things that further set back the car from being paid off. What's more is that they won't hire anyone else, because it's cheap labor for them to employ her. Paying her a meager salary consisting mostly of getting them to fill up her tank, and a few pocket dollars that she blows on frivolous things like clothes and shoes.

She doesn't know life outside of this microcosm. She doesn't seem to realize that she could be, and have been doing all of this on her own. But these people in her life almost have her brainwashed into thinking that she needs to rely on all of these other people to live through. It really gets me pissed. She is more than capable of doing all of this on her own and more! She's probably smarter and more talented than I could ever dream of being.

Issue 4: Last night we went to a bar and watched a nice live performance. I had a bit too much to drink. When we get home. I drunkenly proceed to, without a buffer, tell her how I feel about all of this. I was so angry about the situation that without realizing was screaming at her. She stood there and took it, but sluffed it off as me being drunk. My plans of letting her know about these things were self-sabotaged . The night then turned into an all night sex-fest that I could've only imagined in my wildest dreams. I kinda feel like that was her way of dealing with this. I temporary crutch for this heavy load. I talked to her just a few minutes ago about this, and she realizes that it bothers me, but tells me that these things won't change. Then chased me off the phone to deal with her dogs.

I don't be the one to take her away from these life-long pals of her's as that will create a great resentment from her.

I have a small urge that could turn into a deep need to leave, and explore "greener pastures". But I tell myself that all of it is worth it for love.

I'm at a stalemate. I really need help. I want this to work.

Thanks.