The Friend Trap
This is a huge topic and there's so much i could say about it. It's really all about your state of mind. You need to go into this thinking, "I have no interest in being friends with this girl, i want to BE with this girl."
Now knowing that the main problem is guys do not know how to differentiate what they should do to make a girl their friend and what they should do to get a girl attracted to them.
I don't care what the rest of the world tells you... women ARE NOT attracted to emotional, sensitive guys. Sensitivity to a point is good. You don't want to be like a stone, at the same time you don't want to be sitting and crying with her watching Sleepless in Seatle. How many times have you heard some "nice guy" bitching about how he lost some girl to a "complete jerk!"
The complete jerk... usually isn't a jerk at all. He is just really good with women. And being really good means, confusing them and sometimes upsetting them. IT DOES NOT MEAN lying, intentionally hurting, decieving, or abusing her. Well when women are confused or upset they go and cry to their beta male friend... who then precieves the other guy as a JERK.
Our brains are still mechanically hard wired from thousands of years ago. A woman instinctivly goes after a man who has the characteristics that will make him a good mate and give her the greatest potential to reproduce and protect her offspring. SO THIS MEANS YOU NEED TO GET INTO ALPHA MALE STATE OF MIND.
So how do you become an alpha male...
well follow some great examples of alpha males. James bond and Tyler durden are the first ones that come to my mind. Being alpha means leading the pack... it does not mean being an asshole. I can only begin to describe to you what an alpha male is like, but just think of a pack of wolves. The alpha leads the group. He doesn't take shit, he knows he's good, and he knows he has power. THIS ALL BOILS DOWN TO SELF CONFIDENCE. It doesn't matter what you look like or who you are, if you begin to act like you are top dog, you will eventually become top dog.
You can turn almost anything into "alpha status." I am a small guy, 5'11" 150 lbs... by no means do i intimiate anyone or do i instantly give off alpha status. So what makes women realize i am not to be fucked with... my personality. The way i hold myself. The way i walk, talk, eat, and fuck. I make no appologies for who i am and i step aside for no one. Now this is not me being a hard ass either. If some guy wants to pick a fight with me i'm about the last person in the world to throw down. Instead, i will use the situation to make him look like an idiot... thus gaining me the upper hand of Alpha status.
Here's an example. I hit on some girl who's got some big guy chasing her. He starts acting like a punk and implies he wants to fight. Infront of his girl i will say something along the lines of...
"Woah woah dude. First, we're gonna flex our muscles, then we're gonna see who can do more push ups, and finally we'll arm wrestle, and then let the lady decide." I then roll my eyes and turn my back on the guy and go back to talking to his girl.
All i had to do to tool this guy was take his own game, and turn it around on him to make him look like a jackass.
If he persists you keep going at him, turn everyone against him. "damn dude you really want to fight... god i feel like we're in 6th grade all over again... Why don't you take a seat there slugger and have another drink?"
So finally, here's what i do when i want to make it known that i am not interested in being just friends with a girl (this starts from the minute you meet her!)
She is not allowed to tool me in any way. I do not buy her drinks, i do not give in to her demands. If she says "wait here i have to use the restroom" I'll walk away and let her come find me later. It is important that she realizes you are not some puppy dog that will follow her around
I only speak highly of myself. I don't brag, but at the same time i don't tell her about the embarassing time i got caught jerkin' it by my mom or something like that. The stories you tell her should demonstrate that you are better than the rest... they should demonstrate your alpha side.
TEASE TEASE TEASE. Tell her that her hair looks awful tonight... and say with a huge smile so she can't tell if your playing around or serious.
After you've hooked her and she's shown that she's interesting in you (if she asks you questions, touches you) you give back... but only a little. Next time you laugh put your hand on hers and look into her eyes. Then cut the moment off.
PUSH PULL! Women want what they can't have. Show her what she could have, then take it away. Act like you want to be her boyfriend, then pull back and act like just a friend. Take one step backwards and two steps forwards.
Example: Tell her what great friends you're going to be... and then kiss her.
TAKE CHARGE! You decide whether or not you're going to give her the chance to come home with you. You decide if you want a relationship with her. AND MOST IMPORANTLY make her prove her worth to you. I ALWAYS ASK A GIRL... "so what makes you special/different from every other girl here?"
I realize that this is alot to take in and that it is kind of vague. Unfortuantly there is no outline i can give you to get a woman attracted to you. It's a state of mind and a skill that comes with practice. The best i can do is give you examples from my own life and those around me. Hope this helps.
Posted Dec 31, 2011, 11:31 PM UTC · edited