My mother had cancer, and I know this sounds awful. I don’t care and I honestly think I’ll be happier if she dies.

I have been no contact with my mother for about six months. In that time I’ve gone through the gamut of the grief cycle. I’m still angry no doubt but it’s been difficult to mourn someone who is still alive.

The only person I feel sympathy for is my grandma. My grandpa is descending into vascular dementia and her daughter might be dying. I know I sound like a heartless piece of shit. I just need to know if I’m not alone in this.