My gf told me in argument she would rather break up, have sex with other guy, and have family later with me. She apologized but I feel broken inside.

I wanna make this brief. She is quite pedantic during corona with desinfection and our sex drive is 0. We are in mid 20s. Despite that we had barely any sex for 2 years.

I have a fear of unwanted pregnancy, which most certainly affects my performance anxiety.

We only used condoms for sex. As she doesn’t want to visit gyno, nor take any contraceptive.

For this reason, I often have trouble with condoms and lose it down there.

This made her think that I don’t like her, don’t find her sexy or want to have sex.

I lost down the line the will to have sex because she rarely says that she didn’t like something until the act few days later. Usually in fit of anger yelling at me. Before I was all over her like horny dog. But she yelled once at me because she was sleepy at 9pm.

I also lost the will because she once said “ you are making me think of cheating and finding another”.

Today we had some sexy time dressing up. I decided to go down on her. She liked it. But after hanging out with me on a beach for 10 hours, after she got home she got into argument. I told her that I have performance anxiety and whats holding me off. But she is hell bent saying that i am just lying myself and dont like her.

When I told her about how I cant take condoms on summer heat because of breakdown she accused me of making excuses and how if i dont want pregnancy we should split up, let her have sex and have a family.

I went furious as I felt like this is a staging act for cheating. She accuses me that I dont want to have sex but only fantasies.

She doesnt want to give bjs, because thats my sexual fantasy. I got them maybe 3/year.

I got her some lingerie and she got offended that i want to make her look like pornstar for my fantasies.

I got her a vibrating sex toy so we could spice it up and she got offended that i think she’s a slut.

Honestly Im out of my mind. Because she just expects me to get hard by kissing me and that I maintain my penis on a demand. On top of that, she compared me to her ex boyfriend for whom she claims ( when he was 19) that he could be up for 5 minutes without being touched at all.

I don’t know of any person in 20s that can have it up that long from just kissing for few seconds.

I feel quite bad. I really find her attractive but she gets insulted if i just masturbate in front of her to put a condom on.

In her mind Im supposed to go full on without touching.

We are both “ virgins”. Sex was fine before few times I managed to not get up or cum fast. Since then she claims Im impotent in 20s.

I cut off porn 90%, and beforehand I masturbated 2-3 times a day.