Should we tell them bye?

Should I stop now? My husband and I started to talk to another couple about swinging and it finally happened. They are close to friends and introduced us to the idea. This is our very first time. Before this I caught my husband sexing the other woman photos and found that it was the other husband (who also is my ex…from high school, right there makes it complicated) wanting to see his wife with another guy so he was instigating the sexting. I told my husband that it was a hesitation of mine going into it that I wouldn’t get the other guys attention bc he would only be wanting to watch his wife get fucked.

Well my fear was true and when it came down to it the other guy is more interested in watching his wife with my husband then being with me. (Our boundary was nothing in another room. ) Well the other guy pressured my husband to go see his wife in another room without me and now I feel like I can’t trust them because I know their intentions are clear.

Am I being irrational that I don’t think that’s fair? I feel like we are being used by them to act out their fantasy of her with another guy and I’m left as the 4th wheel, which isn’t the whole premise behind swinging is to feel closer to your spouse?
Trying to sort through my emotions of feeling left out for the 2nd time now.