I feel like I'm not good enough for basic human needs

I've always done my best to make my parents proud, but no matter how hard I tried they'd always find a way to critique me or belittle my accomplishment. As the years have gone by and my depression + anxiety worsened they seem to be less and less satisfied with what I do. I'm trying so hard, but I'll never be good enough.

Im so tired of being screamed at for something I didn't even do, for forgetting minor things, or for just reminding my mother about something she literally asked me to remind her of. I must watch my young, terribly behaved siblings and if they complain about anything I will be screamed at. If the house isn't perfectly clean i will be screamed at. If my brother doesn't do his chore I will be screamed at because she always assumes the I'm the one who didn't do my chore even though I almost always do on time.

This even crosses into my mental health. Im not allowed to appear angry or overwhelmed. I used to have panic attacks so badly that I'd hyperventilate, vision go black, lose the ability to stand or move, cry and scream uncontrollably. She'd hold me for a second to lessen it then tell me that I was crying like a baby and threaten to put me on meds. I have to be perfectly happy and calm all the time or else I'm not good enough.

It's affecting my life so much that I feel like i don't deserve basic human things like food, therapy, love, attention, and medical care. I'm not good enough so why should I be allowed to have these things? I know that's not true, but I cant convince my brain otherwise.

I'll be moving out soon as I am 18 now, but I dont know how I'll ever overcome all of this.