I'm new and I'm not sure if this is the right place to be but I need to find a good anal toy for me (transgirl) and my wife (cisgirl)

So yeah, I'm pretty new to this, but I have experimented by myself with plugs and things. Now I really want to bring my wife into it. I bought a strapless strapon from Amazon, but a friend told me it wasn't safe and also that a strapless wasn't a good idea.

For me, pegging is much more psychological. I don't feel to much physically when I play by myself, but it helps me feel more like myself. So I guess things don't have to be too complicated on my side, but a semi-realistic look and not too big would probably be best?

Mostly, I need to feel good for my spouse. That's why I originally chose the strapless one. Vibrations would be amazing or something to give her physical pleasure. She's not the most sensitive down there, so I don't feel like just rubbing up against something would work. She's also not super expirementsl, if that makes a difference

Idk. What do you guys think? Am I just overthinking things?