Has a past NPD S/O, consistently and consistently called you ugly?

It's been about a year since I finally walked away, and as the days go on I find myself happier and happier, and grateful that's it over. Every once in a while I still have epiphanies and realizations regarding the situation.

Whenever conversations about guys and or appearances she would, somewhere to make the comment, word for word (particularly after she or one of her friends or even even myself a time or two, brought up one of her exes) "you know, I like them a little ugly" typing that out brought on a wave of anxiety I was not expecting. Over the course of the relationship I've heard her say this more times than I can count. I'd try to assume or tell myself she meant the exes, but I've find myself remembering some of the little things she's said directly to me and I'm starting to believe I was just in denial or dissociating.

I've been thinking about it and now I feel like it was just subtle and indirect devaluing. And where I have made so much progress putting the relationship behind me, I like this is bringing on a similar, but whole new slew of feelings. Like I'd nearly gone around the whole board but got knocked back a bunch of spaces, I felt near the end of anger, but now hurt again. Maybe I'm reaching but..I feel like that's kind of the same mentality that kept me in that situation for so long.

Anyhow, I figured I'd drop it off here. Is this a common thing, has anyone else had any similar experiences? How much of a struggle was it to get over, or does it still exist? It's messing with my mind that someone could get into and STAY in a relationship with someone they are not attracted to AND constantly express their repulsion, TO that person.

sigh My soul is exhausted.