Burn Zone

yeah this is dismal, and cool. My feedback would be to consider the capitalizations per line, as it slows a reader up in some spots(“Dropping a payload /From the sky” for example)

Loving the descriptive tone of your poem, especially in the line "burnt hairs on a tanned scalp" it's very poetic! keep up the great work!

The comparison of a once fruitful place to a "tanned scalp" is an amazing visual. "cars pass on by" the uncaring world keeps moving. A man trapped in a wasteland of his own creation, doesn't care. Hopefully not a glimpse into a very possible and very dusty dystopian future life style. Either way I really liked it.

I must say the “mid day sunset” certainly got me thinking. All in all a poem. 5/10.

this is a beautiful use of imagery. particularly loving the contrast between "evergreen" and "dead and black", the antithetical relationship between "ever" and "dead", and the colour contrast between green being, associated with life and growth, and black, being associated with death and destruction, really made this image stand out to me.

i like the imagery and feeling that is brought by the description of the dead trees and cars passing by i felt that

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