Tuesday July 13, 2021

Hey you guys, how's it going?

I woke up very tired and achy. My psychiatrist decided to increase my wellbutrin, and today was the first day I had the increased dose. "Dr. Google" told me that fatigue, sleep issues, and appetite usually gets better after about a week or two. I do remember when I first got on Wellbutrin, I started feeling better faster than expected (you know, instead of the usual 6-8 weeks for antidepressants). I don't know if this is the same when you've already been taking it? And just increase the dose? I'm not feeling more energized at all, and my whole body is sore. But, first day. I'm very hopeful that by next week I will be alright. I'm back to cracking stupid jokes and making my coworkers laugh, like before. Much better than falling asleep at the desk and not remembering how to answer the phone.

It's my late day. So I won't get home until 8. I've been doing some online training, and processed some magazines, and did some other stuff. People are checking out the magazines I put on display, I'm super stoked. One of my coworkers was like "look at you all proud of your little self with your display". What? Not really. I don't care who makes the display, the fact that the magazines are checking out is what matters. If someone else made the display, I'd still be super stoked. My goal is not to make some nice looking display. My goal is to get people to use all of the things the library has to offer. Ebooks, streaming movies, online databases, all that good stuff. I have nothing to do with them, besides being an occasional user. Am I still pushing it to my customers? You bet I am. Because I want them to use it. Shit, I am currently trying to convince my friend on the complete other side of the country to make a library card. Not even my library. I don't care. I don't care if he ever sees my displays or ever says anything about the work I do. I don't do work to get credit or compliments (which are very uncomfortable for me to receive and hard for me to believe, UGH, and, if I was to actually try to survive off of compliments I would have died in childhood). I do work because I believe in the library and I want everyone to use the library. And I mean EVERYONE IN THE WORLD. I'm making a display so that our items have visibility. Not so people can tell me how nice it is. Because it's not. I didn't even put up a sign. I just put a bunch of book holders up on a shelf and stuck magazines in them so that people could actually see them and not have to crawl on the floor for them. Now lets see if I can get the VR room open again.

Bub came to see me on my lunch. He's a little library celebrity lol. He ran into the front doors of the library last week and yelled "Hi everyone! I'm here!!!"🤣 I was hoping the dep. librarian would be here but she's off at another library. He LOVES her. I'm trying to get him to call people by their names (or whatever they prefer to be called by). Like, person: "Hi Bub!" Bub: "Hi Sammy!" etc. He was super avoiding it and when we told him someone's name he wouldn't call them by it, but I told him that when you remember and call people by their names, especially when you haven't seen them for a while, it makes them feel special. It shows them "you are important enough for me to try to remember you". That's why I started remembering peoples names, anyway. I have had so many customers be happy because I remembered and called them by their name. Or that I could spell their unusual last name. Or whatever. Everyone matters.

I drank huel on lunch-dinner. Linner. It was nice and bland, as expected. I also had some ranier cherries. I was thinking a little thing of chicken soup sounded nice. But, Bub was coming and we were going to wander around the library. No soup. I am out of chocolate hummus and have no more money for groceries this week. I'm not using "the other credit card" just to buy chocolate hummus. I might have that soup after I put Bub to bed.

I have been feeling grumpy all day and am looking forward to smoking a bowl tonight.

How's your day? ANything good for dinner?