I'm the forbidden fruit they said not to eat.
Yet you did.
Your eyes were opened and saw all bad and good within me.
You hid and didn't know what to do.
Scared to even look at me.
I hope in the end after eating the fruit,
You still see the good over bad and will begin to love me once again.
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[I'm a christian andd I'm not sure if this is rude towards the story of Adam and Eve...But I hope you enjoyed, also always open for criticism!]
Posted Jul 27, 2021, 5:15 AM UTC
This is a complex question though. How do you know not obeying someone(even god) is bad if you don't know what good or bad even is? And how would gaining this knowledge be a 'bad' thing? I wish you'd explored such aspects a bit more. But it carries a positive message. Good work, keep writing.
How do you know not obeying someone(even God) is bad if you don't know what good or bad even is?
Well in the bible God told Adam and Eve that they can eat anything in the Garden...But the tree of knowledge of good and evil. But the serpent(Satan, the devil) came into the Garden and temped them to eat the fruit, meaning to disobey God! So as you can see...the tree, or eating off the tree was bad. After eating the fruit, their eyes were opened and were scared of each other; because they were naked. They even hid from God because they were scared.
And how would gaining this knowledge be a 'bad' thing?
Gaining the knowledge of good and evil was only meant for God. He wanted a perfect world, where people could live without pain. But because they ate the fruit, they weren't perfect. Now no body in the universe is perfect...except God.
...Hopefully I got everything right!
Plainly and beautifully said, I love the imagery and themes. “Your eyes were opened and saw all bad and good within me” is my favorite line. It sets off the rest of the poem and I also like how you included a little repetition at the end with the “you still see the good over” line. Well done, thank you for sharing.
Aww thank you so much!
I am not christian, but i am aware with the story of adam and eve. I loved your perspective, it was like discovering new colour which could be added to our palette. What's intriguing is knowing it all ( the knowledge) that we should not be lagged behind in discovering. And
Its like the yin yang. Everything have good and bad housed in them. It's the intricacies of universe i guess, but what you presented at last was main point that it is in our hands to choose good over bad according to our conscience, and perceive it with our loving eyes.And embrace the good side.
And i don't think putting forth our POV is disrespectful.
I liked it, thanks for posting. Keep writing
it is in our hands to choose good over bad according to our conscience, and perceive it with our loving eyes.And embrace the good side.
It definitely is! God gave everyone a choice to choose between following him and not following him(Again, going between good and evil). Then I put it in this POV of the poem...choosing the good over bad, which the "I" was hoping the "you" would chose my good over bad.
Yay thank you for the comment!
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Why would this be disrespectful to the story of Adam and Eve? Talented authors have been playing around with these themes for thousands of years. I doubt you'll be singled out for it.
Anyway, this is interesting. You dig pretty deep into the actual biblical account, which I respect. This is particularly apparent in your playful reference to the knowledge of good and evil which is the luring promise of the serpent. “You will not die; for God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." Here, however, that knowledge is about the I of the poem. After consumption, the you in this poem sees the I as she truly is. Then, he hides like Adam not knowing what to do. Scared even to look at her naked particularity.
I think the poem would be stronger if you let your allusion speak for itself. Cut the editorializing last two lines. "I hope in the end..." Also, cut the apology (and pray it if need be instead). God has forgiven worse. Meanwhile, human opinion doesn't fucking matter.
Very true!
Thank you for using scripture. I tried to use the details from the story, without it being too long. And I think it worked pretty well!
HA, true...But I'm glad for your opinion :)
Thanks for the feed back! I will definitely take your words into account! <3