Oh my, I guess I'm not as free as I thought! (no punctuation!? *cringe*) That's a very valid critique, which in hindsight seems quite obvious.  I'm laughing at myself a bit now  :)

Maybe get rid of the period at the end? Then you'll really be *free*

Beautiful! I totally relate to the feeling of finally feeling free. The moment you find that person who makes you open up so naturally is so magical. I adored how you spaced up the letters for lost and the triple/alliteration you used describes the shouts perfectly! I think I would separate the third line into two separate lines to put emphasis on AABB though. Thank you for sharing!!

I like how meta this poem is and its aesthetics. How something or someone can make us break away from a routine and try different things in our lives, getting out of our comfort zone and how it prevent us from becoming stagnant and conformed. 

Great work!

I really like this, relate to it quite well with someone in my life disrupting my creative process for quite a while.

I like the meta angle to it, although it's something i feel like you can't get away with too often.

One thing i'd critique is that in the second stanza it feels like the stranger was slightly unwelcome (maybe this came from the last line of the first stanza too, something happened to me feels very ambiguous but slightly ominous). Maybe this is because of my experience and how I personally related to this piece but that's something I would think about anyway, being free is obviously a positive experience but I feel that the reader must go on a bit of a journey to really feel that win for you. If you've said something happened to me, it was bad, now i'm good, there's not a lot of emotion for the reader to grab on to and sympathise/empathise with, we need a bit of a journey and it doesn't have to be a long one or anything.

&#x200B;

Anyhow just my thoughts, let me know 

I love the crescendo at the beginning that collapses into the alternate rhyme scheme. That was very pleasing to experience as a reader.  I may suggest dashing AABB into A-A-B-B, to help those less familiar with the structure of poetry/rhyme scheme understand how it is read. If someone tried to look it up as an acronym, etc., it may disrupt their flow of experiencing your poem.


Oh, hi there; didn't see you! You've reached r/OCPoetry. This is a workshop site where you can share, read, and talk about eachother's poetry & etc. To post your own poems, you need to give feedback to 2 other writers. If you aren't trying to share, you're encouraged to give feedback, but aren't required. Try to be nice, questioning, and specific. If you can't do that - eat a cabbage and come back later. Try to give feedback to a writer without any feedback. Lastly, read our [feedback guide ](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), other writer's comments, or this author’s feedback links. If you still aren't sure whether your comments are useful ‘feedback’, or you have any other questions, send us a modmail!

*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OCPoetry) if you have any questions or concerns.*

  
I used to rhyme my poems with ease—

each syllable selected with *delicacy,*

structured and metered, AABB.

But then...something happened to me.

&amp;#x200B;

A stranger coaxed a few words from my mouth—

unfiltered, unbridled, undisciplined *shouts,*

and, just like that, my formatted verses,

l  o  s  t

all rhyme and rhythm.

&amp;#x200B;

I didn't even care. 

If anything, 

I felt—

*free*.

......

[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/osuljc/maybe_i_should_swim/h6tav37?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3) [2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/otmc6k/miracle/h6woxou?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

Released