im insecure

Since i turned like 14 ive just cared about everthing i do. I think everyone else is better then me in a way and im not good at anything wich doesnt help that. Whatever i do theres always someone doing it better then me, sometimes i just sit and try and think of one thing im the best at in my friend group. And I can tell people judge me for it. Im not very good at any sport, im not very good at video games and im nothing special in any school subjects either im just not speciall in anyway. Its not uncommon that my name is used ironicly for being bad at something.

Nest week some friends want me to come karting but I dont know if i want to go because i know they will expect me to be bad at it and im kinda embaressed to try something new because i will probbably be the worst at it.

I also compare my self to alot of people and i cant help myself to feel like i should be more like them.

I guess it doesnt help that I have some very competetive friends, I wouldnt consider my self as someone that doesnt have friends, I have quite alot of frinds and at the school I just was at I got along with almost everyone in my age. But when i hang out with some friends they sometimes make fun of me for enjoyment but then when im alone with those people we get along as "normal" friends.

When it comes to social skills mine arent bad, I can have a conversation with most people and make a ok impression. But if i meet new people with friends i feel like im always the one getting picked on so that others seem more like "cool" to hang out with. I think that because im more friendly toword people that are seen as wierd im seen as more weak if that makes sence like im not mean for fun.

All of this has made me stay home alot more and rarely use my phone for social media. Instead i send alot moer time on the vomputer and youtube just ignoring social interaction. I stay up until early morning to avoid half of the folloing day.

im not saying i never make fun of people but i feel like it drags on for alot longer with me.

english is not my primary language