Hahaha, perhaps the most entertaining critique I've received. Some lovely insight here. I'm really happy with what you took away from the piece too. Will be sprinkling these nice suggestions all over my new drafts.

Thank you very much for reading and critiquing.

Alright, alright, alright (this is Matthew McConaughey reviewing your writing lol). Where to start, where to start... I think the most natural place to begin is with a general assessment and then a breakdown in keeping with the categories you listed (prose, characterization, handling of exposition, would one continue reading).

So what's my general assessment? First off, you really can't make good sense of part two without part one. I started reading part two and was like 'Okay no going to start with part one and see if this clicks because I feel like I'm missing something.' That helped. A lot. You said you were being a bit 'cheeky' in asking that we read both but, as the most gracious of critics, I opted to indulge your cheekiness and read both. I will comment on both.

I think the challenge for you in part one is really the challenge anyone encounters in the early going of any text: establishing why we should give a fuck. It really is that simple. I think you did that well. I was cur

Part one was the first half and this submission is the next quarter or so. 

Thank you for your suggestions again. I have tended to overdo these kinds of phrases in this piece and will definitely try to sort it out in future drafts. 

Thanks again for taking the time to read and comment.

I thought Part 1 was the first half of a 2 part story? Apparently not. I won't write a complete review here, but I'd advise you again to watch out for trite phrases. In particular, you might look for wherever you use "ing" words.  They're not always bad, but tend to be klunky. Here are some phrases that could be rendered with more freshness or energy:

interrupted her thinking  
Abruptly, she stood up, the towel dropping to the floor  
Closing her eyes, she remained in her position

This is the second part of a long short story I've been working on. I've been coming back to it on and off for like three months now. It needs work, I know. There's a lot more I need to do. But I think I'm more unhappy with this part than I am with the first. Also, I feel cheeky asking, but if anybody feels like putting the effort in, I would greatly appreciate it if you read the [first part (3165 words)](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1TuaeioPGKodCp3YNcBda6JR5lmXeCCHZcX-CMdCZharing) before this one.

Also, these are some things I'd most like to know people's thoughts on, please:

* &gt;!Prose style!&lt;
* &gt;!Characterisation!&lt;
* &gt;!Handling of exposition!&lt;
* &gt;!Would you continue reading?!&lt;
* &gt;!Any and all other thoughts are welcome!&lt;

[Critique - Being Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/p012gf/3531_being_here/h8gh0uy?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

[Description of a Struggle - Part Two](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1n-UoAObrv5RBvfifC9g_wGh91kcj2AXJcPg2d-3p_fo/edit?usp=sharing)

[1684] Description of a Struggle - Part Two