Me [76 F] with my friend [46 M] of 12 years whom I let live in my home who refuses the vaccine.

UPDATE: Well, he listened to my concerns, and without a word left and returned in an hour. He got the vaccine. He also showed me several things he is actually working on to get his life in order. His room is cleaner as well (still not spotless LOL I'm ok with it now) We are all good. Thank you all for your input. The comments have been extremely helpful.

Original post: I (widow) live with my adult son (57 M) who works out of the house, and we have a good friend who lives with us. We each have separate rooms, but my son and he share a bathroom. My bath in en suite.

He is a very kind person, and sometimes very helpful with home maintenance. He came to stay with us when his common law wife kicked him out. He was devastated. I believe he truly loved her. They had 4 children, and he continues to see them whenever she permits. Although he does not complain, I believe she charges him for the privilege. I know he was gutted, and self destructive for a long time afterwards.

He has many good qualities and I value his friendship. That said, he is also generally a messy, dirty person who seldom bathes and refuses to pick up after himself. I struggle to stay out of his room because he brings insects (roaches, once bedbugs) into the house. I have an exterminator monthly because of this.

I know he was damaged during childhood. My son and I were damaged also (I did not get to raise my son) so I think I get it. He does not contribute any money to the household at all, but he does do a few chores, and also things like stopped drains, painting the interior, cutting the grass, etc. I feel like this is sufficient.

Here is my current issue. Both my son and I are fully vaccinated, but he refuses. He is kind of a hypochondriac, and in my opinion, uses one "disability" or the other as a way to say no. He tends to be manipulative, rather than straightforward. He has a lot of excuses as to why he won't get the vaccine but he does not outright refuse it. He just won't get it.

Roommate does odd jobs to earn some cash, and is at a local church (not a member-as a worker) most days. He does not wash his hands ever. The most he will do is rinse them and shake the drops off. He used the same torn t-shirt for a mask for over a year, ignoring the many boxes of fresh clean ones I provide.

I care about his and his feelings, but I feel he is endangering my health. At first I thought my vaccination would protect me, but now I find the new variant may break through. Having just had open heart surgery, this terrifies me.

I have asked him several times directly about the vaccine, and explained my concerns. He will give an excuse only (wants to get health insurance and a check up first, fears it will somehow cause his colitis to worsen, etc) He makes no effort to do these things, though.

He is quite stubborn, and once he digs his heels in, pretty much cannot be swayed. I am torn. I have to protect myself, I know. His failings cannot supercede common sense in this situation, as the potential cost is too high.

I am not looking for medical advice, nor am I interested in any vax vs anti-vax rhetoric. Here is my question: How can I best approach him to get his cooperation with this? I offered to buy him a $4000 scooter at one point, if he would get the jab, which he refused. I asked him to do it for the people around him as well as himself, still nothing.

I see some excellent advice on here from time to time, so I am hoping for a new approach. My very last resort would be to have him leave. He would likely be homeless as he is extremely low income. This is keeping me awake at night. Please offer suggestions.

TL DR: Elderly widow with friend as a roommate cannot get said friend to get vaccinated, despite his regular exposure to large groups of people.