Progressive does not equal safe: gendered clothes

This is inspired by an anonymous confession I was just reading on my Uni's anonymous confession page. It was from a woman who was complaining that her boyfriend liked to wear dresses, that she didn't want to become "one of those girls who wears matching dresses with her boyfriend". I'm a trans man (20) and was actually disgusted with a lot of cis women in the comments saying similar things, that it is gross and wrong for men to wear dresses and that it is grounds to shun and dump said boyfriends who defy gender norms. I asked some of them and they are accepting of women wearing mens clothes, but not men wearing womens. Essentially what I'm getting at is there's a sizeable portion of "progressive" women who are actually rather conservative when it comes to men. I believe that such comments are also loaded with homophobia, transphobia and racism. But due to the perceived infallibility of women on gender based issues (which I encounter a lot from people affected by radfem rhetoric) its very hard to call this behaviour out (like how TERFs would hide behind lesbianism in order to deflect criticism). Do you think there's a way to have decent conversations about bigotry coming from cis women without overstepping a line?