Healing the Hole in my Heart
[removed]
Posted Aug 30, 2021, 8:40 AM UTC
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Reddit makes it hard to separate stanzas 😭 it’s separated better on my tumblr!
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There are a couple of things I would change, for example, and this is purely because of my way of reading it, I would have written "Splits open once again". Also a bit further down I think it's either a typo or you did it deliberately, you wrote "needle and a threat". If it was deliberate I don't have a problem with it, but if you meant to write "thread", then you would have a repetition which I tend to try to skip, but seeing how you want to make it seem like you're in a loop and everything is repeating, I understand why you did it that way. Lastly, in the end you said you're waiting to be saved, but then you wouldn't be waiting for your own hand, because, you know, it's yours. I hope you understand what I meant, it's a great poem, keep writing!