N coworker

I'm dealing with another ncoworker. It sucks because she has all these people fooled and she's running to them, acting like she's a victim -- making up stories -- saying I'm doing stuff to her -- all to cover the fact she isn't doing her job, is trying to bully me -- it's annoying stuff, but I really don't care, though technically, she is harassing me -- and lying to everyone. She just lies. Last time I spoke with her she gaslighted me to my face and caused a rift between myself and the managers.

I just bite my tongue, bide my time, and wait it out.

It sucks because she has the rest of the office fooled. Well, okay not the whole office, she has it out for a few others too who can't stand her, but it's not like we talk about it. We don't need to -- we're busy and we have work to do.

It just sucks. I always call out covert n's now, and that triggers them, and then I'm under attack. I also am super sensitive to it from my nmother.

My nmother and my harassing stalker both used this technique of going around to people and spreading rumors and lies as their method of attack. My extended family believes my nmother that I abused her. I didn't. My former boss's boss actually believed my stalker (not a coworker) over me and I almost got fired. I had to take the stalker to court and I won. The damage is done now though, I still get harassed by her flying monkeys every once in a while and my boss's boss thinks I go around harassing people. The stalker was finally arrested in 2018 for what she did and I still occasionally have to deal with the aftermath in 2021. The stalking and harassment from this covert n lasted 3 years... and the aftermath has gone on for another 3 so far...

I guess they, covert n's, can just tell I don't believe them? Or I interact with these covert n's in a way that bothers them?

They definitely fool others -- but living with both my nrents for so long, I'm always self analyzing for inconsistent behavior in myself (trying to root out any n-behavior I show) and always also analyzing the behavior of others. There's a lot to notice when minute details used to mean the difference between safety and none.

It sucks blaming myself -- like do I put out energy in the world that upsets the covert n's?

I'm very open about emotions, past experiences, weaknesses, and what I'm working to improve. Maybe this is a threat?

I have confidence and boundaries. When someone acts like an n I guess I call them out. I have to work on that.