Feel like I'm losing my mind

I've been in an on and off abusive long distance relationship for about a year now and each time it ends I feel like I'm an inch closer to it being done forever, but it hasn't happened yet.

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Most recently when I tried to leave, I was threatened to be blackmailed with photos that I didn't consent to being saved. (I realize my own role of naïvety in this situation but it doesn't override the fact that this person disregarded my boundaries completely by doing this).

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They threatened me ("you can't leave or else" situation) this was about a month ago now and it traumatized me. ( I have past trauma having to do with this that this person knows about and knowingly tried to recreate.)

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Within the past few days, said person decided to show me some of their music and compared themselves to a huge celebrity/musician. I said my honest opinion, which is that It sounds good but doesn't sound like the musician. (in a nicer way.) He then proceeded to be silent, and then the next time I spoke (which was something about my mental health), he told me to shut the fuck up and that he couldn't give less of a fuck about anything I ever have to say. I found the outburst to be hurtful but not out of the ordinary. I retaliated and told him never to speak to me in that manner etc etc, and it resulted in 2 days of stonewalling.

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Then today, he brought the music thing up again after a long conversation we had which I THOUGHT hashed everything out. but apparently he didn't feel the same way, despite the fact that during the conversation he said everything was fine.

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So when he brought it up today hours after that conversation, he did so more aggressively and drilled into me seemingly to elicit a different response from me, as if his ego was wounded by the fact that I didn't think he was like the famous musician he compared himself to. (im keeping this vague on purpose).

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This all sounds very juvenile thus far I realize, but the point I'm trying to get to is I eventually reached my breaking point after an hour of "interrogation," when he chose to say "are you actually going to shut the fuck up and listen this time." after he had just "apologized" earlier for having told me that. Once again an empty apology.

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Anyway, afterwards I hung up on him because I felt like my anger was getting out of control, as I started to lash out more and yelled. (I struggle with a lot of mental health issues and am also on the spectrum for background, so my threshold for stressful situations is very low at this point.)

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About an hour later, I check my phone and I see 7 missed calls and threatening texts containing photos he said he had deleted, claiming I had "made a mistake" by ignoring him and the only way he'll forgive me "this time" is if I send him some very explicit photos (he went into specific detail that referenced my past traumatic event regarding photos).

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He also dm'd me some post about red flags, to which he added that he's full of red flags except the flags are green and purple. (this is a reference to him being the joker which was a running gag in our relationship because I think he's a pos. he always took it as a compliment and he felt it was appropriate to send me that after threatening me and attempting to use my trauma against me.)

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Afterwards, he told me he was angry all day today because he heard me sing one of his songs and he said it disgusted him and he doesn't want me involved in his music ever again. This hurt as someone who was his biggest if not only supporter. This also hurt given that I am unfortunately very emotionally attached to this person and love them. While I realize the love is Severely misplaced and I WANT to leave, I repeatedly find myself in these predicaments and they seem to get worse and worse and more frequent each time.

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Can someone please offer me any kind words or any feedback regarding this? I am 23F for reference and this man is 25M. Thank you for reading if you did and I apologize if it was all over the place. I currently can't sleep because of this and feel horrible. I don't have anyone I can talk to because I don't have friends. I feel like I go through intense heartbreak once a week on top of already struggling with severely depressive thoughts.