Things are a rollercoaster

So far, I have been delaying any suicides or self harm because I was under the illusion I would be able to get hormones in 5 months. Now my mom is having second thoughts of letting me. Ironically, she is heavily pro-abortion because, and I quote, "It's a woman's body, it's her choice." Apparently not my choice to go on hormones, because she is making it sound like she doubts I am really trans.

Not the end of the world, right? I got 5 months to convince her otherwise, right? She proceeded to constantly misgender and deadname me afterwards, despite being corrected multiple times.

So now I just need a solid argument that I am in fact trans and that she doesn't get to decide if I should go on hormones.

Back up plan of course is to make a suicide attempt, get thrown in a mental hospital and scare her into it, but that plan seems a little bit warped.

Alternatively I just kill myself and hope to get reincarnated as a cis girl even though I doubt reincarnation exists.

Anyways long rant, yeah