Source
r/askgaybros•
dankhot

Just had gay sex for the first time — it was interesting — need advice!!

Advice

Hey everyone, Bi 20 M here, i had gay sex for the first time and it was pretty fun! I am a bit worried about HIV though — my partner said that he made all of his past partners wear a condom (I met him from grindr) but he is not on PrEP. I was a bit concerned because he used a filter, but it looks like it was just to cover his acne. But I feel that it was a little dishonest,so now i am not sure. I topped and used a condom during anal, but I am a bit concerned because the end of the condom (near my shaft) started slipping during sex, and i am worried that this may have caused micro tears or something, as i put rubbing alcohol on my cock after and it stung only on the region near the bottom of the shaft (close to the balls). I am not sure if that area of my penis went into his asshole. Should I go get on PEP just to be safe? The condom did not break or tear. We used lots of lube as well. Please help!! I am very scared and get bad health anxiety :(

Posted Sep 13, 2021, 11:04 PM UTC

035
Many-Concentrate-491•

Are you this paranoid every time you have sex?

Thanks for your contribution to the weekly irrational hiv scare post though 🥰

15
Dubzophreniahimbo•

For real, this is like some serious mental gymnastics.

"Dude used a filter to probably make himself feel better, he MUST have HIV!"

7
Many-Concentrate-491•

LMAO

1
dankhotOP•

If he is going to change the appearance of his face, why wouldn't he lie about making all his past partners use condoms?

0
ZoriaTaylor•

It’s his first time having gay sex. What the fuck is wrong with you?

-2
dankhotOP•

yes i am! it’s tough :(

-1
Many-Concentrate-491•

Can I see your posts about this when you slept with girls then? 👀

1
Dubzophreniahimbo•

Do you think the inside of his asshole is made of razor blades or something? HE would be the one with micro tears, not you.

I'm just going to be real with you. Get a grip on reality. Dude probably used a filter because his acne makes him self-conscious, and you jumped to the conclusion that he must have HIV? Not everyone is on prep.

Insertive penetration is the lowest risk of contracting HIV. If you had sex with 10,000 HIV positive men, based on statistics, you'd only be passed the virus 11 times. It's incredibly low risk for the top to get it, ESPECIALLY if using protection.

12
dankhotOP•

thank you for the helpful statistics. Is it normal for the lower shaft to sting when rubbing alcohol is applied? I read that HIV can be spread through skin with a rash.

1
RemoteBrain•

🤦‍♂️

9
Basil_Gin_Gimlet•

Micro-tears!

He used a filter!

Rubbing alcohol!

That’s the trifecta. At least these insane posts are sometimes funny.

5
dankhotOP•

So what? What should my reaction be? Just not care, and possibly end up living with HIV?

0
foggydrinker•

You're fine. Get on PrEP.

4
GeorgiaYankee7348/M/Georgia•

It’s 2021 and almost every one of us is carrying around a device in our pocket that lets us access almost all of human knowledge in seconds, including reliable sexual health materials from places like the Mayo Clinic and the Gay Men’s Health Crisis and these are things people are still asking.

We’re fucking doomed.

4
forty_niner•

Doomed, I tell you! Doomed!

3
[deleted]•

[deleted]

4
dankhotOP•

i’m sorry. my school did not have a sex ed program :(

1
[deleted]•

[deleted]

1
[deleted]•
  1. See a therapist about your anxiety if you haven't already.
  2. If you already have a therapist, find a better one.
  3. Anxiety feeds on ignorance, so reduce your ignorance. Google about how to have safe sex. Educate yourself about how HIV spreads, and how to prevent it. Then you will feel less anxious about sex.
  4. Rubbing alcohol is not a cure or preventative for HIV. Again, educate yourself. Home made medicines are a very stupid idea.
  5. Reddit is the wrong place to get sexual health advice.
  6. A family doctor is also not the absolute best place to get sexual health advice. Contact a sexual health clinic for specialist advice.
  7. You are catastrophising. If the condom didn't break, you're fine. Educate yourself and learn better self talk to stop yourself catastrophising about sexual health in future
2
dankhotOP•

I wasn’t using rubbing alcohol to prevent HIV, i was using it to detect cuts

1
[deleted]•

You should only get cuts if there was an abrasive surface. The human body doesn't really have those, unless his stubble was very rough...

1
dankhotOP•

It was a little rough tbh.

1
[deleted]•

Rough enough to break the skin dude.

1
dankhotOP•

thank you for the advice, it’s tough to stop myself when i get like this

1
[deleted]•

I know. :) Takes a lot of practice to think in a healthier way. You'll get there.

1
Rocket_raccoon92•

If you are truly worried, you need to get PEP within 72 hours. Then get on PREP as soon as you can.

1
dankhotOP•

Spoke with a dial-a-nurse, they said to go visit a doctor just to be safe. So that's what I am going to do, and talk to them about PEP.

1
[deleted]•

[deleted]

1
Namespacejames•

You have health anxiety, I get it. You are experiencing an episode of it. Rubbing alcohol to check for cuts is checking behaviour and will feed your anxiety further.

1
dankhotOP•

what is checking behavior?

1
Namespacejames•

It’s a term used in OCD and health anxiety. Basically it’s checking that you’re healthy and ok but excessively. You do it to reassure yourself and calm your anxiety but it almost always leads to feeling more anxious over time.

It’s good to be careful about things like HIV, but it’s easy to get carried away. I once also thought I’d been potentially exposed to it and ruined a month of my life.

You wore a condom and it didn’t tear. You did the smart thing and had a good time. You might just have an overly anxious mind.

1
dankhotOP•

but isn’t it better to be safer than sorry in this situation and just take pep for like a month?

1
Namespacejames•

It’s up to you guy. Honestly, see what a health professional thinks if you’re really worried.

1