Im in a loop i can't get out of.

A rant or a cry for help.. I've been struggling with body dysmorphia for longer than i can remember. I've been at both extremes 101kg and 69kg on (184cms22M) Currently im 77kg but my body composition has more fat and little muscle. I can never stick to a good diet or routine. Im definitely skinny fat. Maintaining this body has always been a chore. I always tell myself i will start tomorrow. Then im like fine the morning but when afternoon hits im a bit ravenous and the mindset i had in the morning is completely gone my mom always cooks and brings delicious food that i feel like i will miss out on. My routine right now is head to work (im a nurse intern on my feet constsntly about 7k steps everyday ontop of standing constantly) and i do full body workouts in the weekend when i have time. But despite everything my diet has always been bad and its the sole reason nothing is changing or working. I have skinny long arms that will never pack any muscle. And it feels like i should just accept how my body looks. I always analyse every human being i see to note their flaws and compare them to mine. I dont know what to do anymore..