My (29F) boyfriend (30M) of almost 9 years broke up with me suddenly with no real explanation

We started dating when I was 20 and he was 21. I never had an issue getting guys, however he was very insecure when we met. We met ironically on Eharmony after a friend told me to join for shits and giggles. We met up after a few months of talking. He was cute and shy. Things moved fast and after first date he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes. Over the years we had some issues. The biggest thing was me flirting with a coworker. That ended quickly and nothing ever happened again.

My mom passed Christmas of 2019, right before Covid really hit hard. We both still lived home. Well I ended up staying with my sister and her kids. It was supposed to be for 2 months, while this apartment I found was being remodeled. Due to Covid, my stay with my sister lasted longer than I would have liked. So with the unemployment money, I saved up everything. I payed my credit card debt off, got a car, found another apartment and by November 2020, I had a fresh start. New apartment, job and car. I kept asking if he wanted to move in with me, I mean it's been 8 years. He always complained his mom was getting on his nerves and he wanted to move. I'm thinking now is the perfect time to start the next chapter.

Suddenly, he didn't want to come over my place. He helped me move in. Since then, he has only been over a total of 5 times in almost a year. I would drive to his place on all my days off if I wanted to see him. But he started becoming distant and cold towards me over the last year. Sex became almost none existing.

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago (right before Ida hit). He sends me a text saying he thinks we should take a break, it's not me it's him. I said wow, I think I deserve more than a text. He calls and basically tells me, it's nothing I did but it's him and he doesn't know why but he isn't in love with me anymore and we should be friends. After all these years I think I deserve a better explanation.

Anyway as heartbroken as I am, I respect his wishes. I noticed a change in him over the last year. The issue is now, he tells me he is suicidal, depressed, lonely and heartbroken. I am someone who suffers with severe depression and suicidal thoughts so I don't take these things lightly. He tells me he will be lonely for the rest of his life and will never find someone to love him. Idk why I feel so guilty when he dumped me, but I do. So I talk to him everyday to make sure he knows he isn't alone. But deep down, I'm falling apart.

He tells me yesterday that he has been seeing someone and went on several dates since the break up. I completely break down. I can barely function everyday yet I find myself holding my head high and trying to make sure he is also okay, which isn't my responsibility anymore. How can you tell me how hurt you are but you still have time to date someone? My feelings aren't being considered. You dumped me and you're moving on. But you don't want to let me go fully. I feel like I am there as a backup and it's killing me. I cry myself to sleep every night and that's if I can sleep.

Wow this was long. Idk what to do or how to move forward with anything. I want to just let him go but idk how.