Saltwater Tears

This is a gorgeous, heart-splitting piece. My only criticism would be of the line "victim of my own thoughts": it's a bit too tell, not enough show, but otherwise the imagery is poignant and lovely as it is. The curtness of "you haunt me." really caught my attention. I feel it brings the camera to a perfect pause, and its straight-forwardness is so stark, I really loved that detail. "My last breath held by shrinking lungs" painted this desperation for me. There is an impending doom looming over you, but a freezing hesitancy to do anything to stop it. It's a heavy theme I think you illustrated beautifully. Thank you for sharing this!

I love how vividly I read this. It reads like a script. I can picture myself at a theater watching this unfold and I can feel the heartbreak.

I really like this poem, it's very claustrophobic (to me) but that's why it captures so well the feeling of loneliness that comes from a heartbreak !

My favorite verse is the last one, especially with the use of "want" which might seem like nothing in particular but which is so evocative in the context, especially if you link it to the verse "and I'm reduced to a victim of my own thoughts". I think that those two verses work very well together since your thoughts might give you the impression that he/she could save you and that they just won't. Then again my interpretation might be wrong.

This really was beautiful. What stands out to me most, is the fact that, in the last line, you ask to be saved by whoever has you so hopelessly lovesick, yet the way you word things in the poem, it almost sounds as if you are actually trapped. Like a kidnapped victim praying for escape. It makes me think that while you have some deep sort of love with this person, you also feel like you are being held prisoner by them, by how they make you feel.

This is heart-tearing and gut-wrenching. I am very proud of you simply as another human being to have had the courage to put down your feelings and thoughts into beautiful art which others can heavily relate to. Keep writing; the world needs your voice.

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Very nice, this was a little too relatable

Only notes would be to switch out the words "oxygen" and "exigent" they aren't fitting with the rest of the poem, but besides that I really enjoyed this