Is what I am experiencing emotionally normal?

Hi I am currently posted to 3GDs from the May intake. After 1 week in bedok camp 2, I wanted to speak out to see whether the situation I am going through is normal or not.

After since I enlisted to NS, I had no aspirations to serve and just wanted to complete the mandatory term and continue studying in university. I was feeling the same dread as everyone else and thought that I should just "suck thumb" and complete my service no matter what vocation I get posted to after BMT. However during BMT, I struggled to focus during training and messed up a lot during field camp and live firing.

As time went on during BMT my motivation was getting lower, and I also realized that eating lesser and find the things I used to enjoy a chore and sleeping a lot more than usual. And when I am not asleep during admin time I tend to walk around the bunk just lost in my thoughts.

During the block leave, I just find myself lying around in bed and having no motivation to hang out with my friends despite planning to do so before POP. I also ate lesser for meals and drank more water and just filled my hunger with tibits. After getting my posting as a 3GDs trooper, I started to feel more anxious and had more negative thoughts.

After spending 1 week at bedok camp here 0 motivation or goal, I spent most of my admin time sleeping or researching whether is happening to me. During the interview with the commander I decided not to sound off as I thought the negative thoughts will go away after I adjusted to the lifestyle there. However during meal times, i tend to not have any appetite to finish my food and mostly filled my stomach with the beverages and the protein that were available that day. I also find it hard to focus as I am constantly thinking of how fast it would end if I were to jump Infront of a car or out the window, and the only thing stopping me is that I would hurt my family and close friends. I have also started to use pain to help me avoid these negative thoughts.

Currently I do not feel like sharing with my commanders or my bunkmates the current situation with them due to personal reasons. So please share about what you would do in my situation and I would answer questions whenever I have the time.