I just realized I think I know where the story is headed. It strikes me as some sort of time-bending story, where the screaming is actually her, and perhaps something has gone wrong with her pregnancy and she sees this horrific window of time, like a warning, or what’s to come. Just a thought, am I right?

**Character**    
 
Ayo is a woman. She has a desire to have a child, but I don't know if she's pregnant or not. She's a scientist. That's all I can tell you about her. I don't know if she hates being alone, or prefers it. I don't know if she's brave or just stupid. I don't know if she loves her work or just tolerates it. This may seem like a lot to ask for in 500 words, but this is something you have to think about if you want to write a short story and get it published in a magazine. Especially horror. Because horror is about creating somebody the reader *feels* is real, and can place themselves in their shoes as they read, and then letting them experience the horror for themselves, and leave them hoping that they and the main character can get away from this thing. With this completely arbitrary rating system, I would rate this character a 3/10. 

**Author questions**   

-on the basis of this first part, would you read more? 

Absolutely. I just want to see what the screaming is al

**First impressions** 
At first, I felt the tendrils of fear and tension, but they did not strengthen or take hold of me. Ayo doesn't particularly come across as terrified, so to me, the tension isn't ratcheted up to where it should be. At first, I was like okay, she's supposed to be completely alone, but there's an ungodly screaming somewhere outside. That's a scary premise. It should be easy to build tension and fear off of that, but I feel like it didn't do the work it should have. 

The screaming and the idea of some monster or alien or *thing* held my attention, but it's like you do everything you can to distract me from feeling that way. First, you talk about the chime of the ocean and the solar storm, then you go on about a doll she has on her shelf and spend much too long on that. So to me it seems like she keeps getting distracted, and if this screaming thing was really clutching at her throat and soul, and crippling her with fear, she wouldn't be thinking of anything else for

General Remarks. 

Overall, I enjoyed it. The short piece does a good job at setting up an intriguing situation. Something mysterious is going on, and I want to know what it is. Furthermore, the mystery doesn't feel remote. It feels close, and it seems the main character Ayo is physically close to whatever is causing the mysterious event, and she is getting closer. The writing is short, so we don't find out what is going on, but we do find out something (there are some feet!), which gives some relief. The pacing is done well (and by that I mean that pace at which the mystery unfolds). 

As far as the characters go, well, there is only one we know about, Ayo. We don't know much about Ayo as a person, but I think that's okay. In sci-fi, I think the writing is often more about the situation than the person (though hopefully, when the story continues, we do learn more about her as a person -- what is she like? Why is she there? Why chose to be so alone?). 

As for the writing, I think it i

Line by line comments:

- Agree w other reader, eerie chime of the ocean is distracting from the initial terror. Also agree that instantly is redundant.  
- Need a comma after "and had been." This whole sentence is pretty long, it has a lot of prepositional phrases in a row that force rereading a few times.  Something more like "been on Ganymede for 13 months, and over that time had always been the sole occupant on this submerged platform."
- Agree w other reader, why is calling the AI for help revealing location? would she have to yell to it? 
- "few things" implies 3ish. 2 are listed.  also, the second half of this sentence doesn't seem to have anything to do with the first part, re: Koto and his/her knowledge. Probably need a period there to break up the two thoughts. 
- Released the data console. as someone said, what IS an anxious grip. white knuckled, or "she released her grip, her palms now sweaty" both convey the idea more clearly. Also,  it is very strange that she is holding 

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