Past trauma ruining new marriage

My husband (26)m and I (25)f got married a little over a month ago, after being together for a couple of years. Our relationship has always been incredible. We've always been able to communicate effectively, our sex life was amazing..just generally were always on the same page. I'm about 24 weeks pregnant with our first child and I couldn't be happier.

The issue I'm having trouble getting over is, we celebrated our honeymoon by going get a hotel room and adventuring for the day. Everything was incredible. My husband took some Molly, and I was sober (and pregnant). We used to roll for special occasions together, so this was no problem. Until it came time for us to go to bed. We started initiating sex, when he stopped being a good partner to say the least, and essentially used me as a living flesh light.

When it was over, he showered and passed out. I couldn't sleep. I sat in the shower for over an hour sobbing, and eventually blacked out in the bed. The next several weeks were devastating and I fell into a deep vortex of suicidal ideation and depression, reliving that moment and many before it where other men have raped me.

Now I feel like I'm on the other side of that deep hole..but whenever we have sex now, it's passionate and it's loving..but when it's over I can't help but feel angry at him and I can't stop it. He's such an amazing and incredible partner, but I can't stop being furious with him. I've been short with him, yelling at him, and generally just being aggressive with him, and he doesn't deserve it. We talked about therapy but there's so, so much going on in our lives outside of this situation that we literally do not have the time right now. We hopefully will in a month or two, but for now I'm resorting to trying to vent on here.

I'm sorry if this doesn't make a lot of sense, I don't really know how to put all of this into actual words. I just know that right now I feel a sharp digging in my chest and a lump in my throat typing it, and I just need to get it out.