Source
r/raisedbynarcissists•
CommunicatesPoorly

Sleep Deprivation and Fast Food

[Rant/Vent]

I'm still coping with everything and trying to move past it all.

I think the worst thing my nparents did could have been taking my sleep. Nmom never let me sleep at all during high school -- she screamed at me for hours and kept me up all night. She would get on the phone with her boyfriend, directly beneath my bed, and literally shout-talk (he was partially deaf) until 3 and 4am every single night.

Other times, she'd get me so stressed and anxious with her attacks that I would just stay up until the next day, going days without sleep -- I never felt safe.

Also bad was their obsession with having me eat fast food. It was like they loved me to be the four year old that could eat a hamburger faster than an adult. I was nothing but a toy to them.

To this day, I have issues with sleeping and not sleeping. I'm so angry at her. She was so aggressive. She was malicious and cruel. She'd yell at me for hours and then keep me awake until the next day.

My grades and social life suffered. I went nuts. No one understood I never got to sleep.

I would sleep whenever she wasn't home -- so the weekends and the time between me getting home and her coming from work.

I have to cope with this and move on.

Posted Sep 21, 2021, 3:50 AM UTC

85
baconpancakes327•

I'm so sorry. That sounds like torture, and you did not deserve it.

Sleep is hard for me, too. I don't know what you've tried, but a few things have helped over the years. Taking magnesium supplements before bed can help you relax, and I take maca and ashwaghanda as well which helps boost memory after a bad night's sleep. The thing they helped the most, though, was being kind to myself. I used to get really angry at myself for not falling asleep "when I was supposed to", which only made it more difficult to actually fall asleep. I try to accept that some nights I will not sleep well, and it isn't my fault/does not mean I'm a bad person. I try not to get mad at myself when I need a nap.

I hope you're able to sleep well soon.

2
CommunicatesPoorlyOP•

These are all excellent ideas. I take ZzzQuill when I get all wound up from stress or PMS -- but since I am NC with her now I no longer have to deal with it, just the scars.

Thanks for the great ideas and kind words. I'm going to try magnesium and the other supplements too and see if I get a boost. Thanks again I appreciate you

3
AdmiralCapybara•

I have had chronic insomnia for decades now. I did a sleep study 20 years ago and to the doctor the results were useless because I never fell asleep for even a minute over the course of 24 hours.

I take a Calcium/Magnesium/Zinc supplement at the back-of-bottle dose, a GABA capsule (it's just an amino acid), a 10mg melatonin and one 25mg diphenhydramine (Benadryl) tablet, all about 1.5 hours before I intend to sleep. If I take that whole mess of pills, I will fall asleep in about 20 minutes and stay asleep for 7 to 8 hours without waking up groggy. Otherwise I will lay awake for 5 to 6 hours, staring at the ceiling.

If I really can't stop ruminating, I will sing (in my head) the Sesame Street song "Put Down the Duckie" until I pass out.

Good luck getting some rest.

2
baconpancakes327•

Good luck! I'm rooting for you!

1
AutoModeratorMOD•

This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.

Confused about acronyms or terminology? Click here!

Need info or resources? Check out our Helpful Links for information on how to deal with identify theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE!

This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods.

Our rules include (but are not limited to):

  • No politics.
  • Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban.
  • Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. No slurs or victim-blaming.
  • Do not derail the posts of others.
  • Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here.
  • No platitudes or generic motivational posts.
  • When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse.
  • No asking or offering gifts, money, etc.
  • No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest).
  • No content about N-kids.
  • No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis.
  • No linking to Facebook pages.
  • No direct linking to anywhere on reddit.
  • No pure image posts.

For a full list of our rules/more information, click here.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1