Meshes of an Afternoon

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This is such an interesting poem! I love how the wording feels like dialogue. "Where is the soul? / If not in spaghetti bowl" is a brilliant little interlude. It feels like you intended this poem to be open-ended, but I was still left wanting more information by the end. Why is the tree on fire? And how does the kitchen imagery throughout the poem relate to the "Put on your seat belt" line in the beginning? Just a few more details would help create a more clear story.

This is really cool. I think ive been there, twice! The imagery is great, and the tone alive but carries a really tired undertone, which is clever. When it’s not only you anymore it can really test you and you are really being tested in this poem. But you are owning it, and having a bit of fun. It’s honest. I’m lost on the burning tree but maybe the poem’s unfinished? We’ll done either way. Enjoyed it.

I really like the formatting and flow of this! I haven't really seen many poems similar to this. The sort of flow of consciousness/dialogue makes it feel a lot more alive and present. The only thing I'd really say is that I think the last line feels a bit out of place. Not in the sense that it's bad, but moreso it kind of feels like "time stood still/like a microwave on heat" was the conclusion of the poem, and "tree was on fire" makes it feel unfinished. Although, if that was the intention, then it works really well.