Avoiding social interactions

I just rejected two opportunities to socialise. One of them was my old friend inviting me and my cousin to her house. The other one was My 3 of my classmates that I care about inviting me to eat pizza tomorrow but I feel shitty and insecure so I declined it too. Now I feel shittier and more insecure.

I really want to hang out with them but I don't know. I'm tired of overthinking and hating myself. All of them respond with empathy that I don't want to go out but I don't think I deserve it.

I don't want to do this anymore. I want to trust people but I fucking can't. I'm gonna apologise to them on Monday and say I'll make it up to them.