[1683] The lad who stumbled upon a swamp

Hello everyone! I'm posting my first short story for critique.

A little about me; I'm a university student repeating foundation year for creative writing. (I never did the dumb "how to university" module) Now, to improve upon my own writing. I will be writing short stories, almost each week, and finding stories to critique. I want to learn through critique and writing, to become a better writer in general. I'm super creative but I can't always create the right picture or find the right framing of events or scale or landscape etc.

The short story for today was inspired by my walk to Tesco at 1am, because of my imagination I get very easily psychologically scared in the darkness. I used my fear to my advantage to embody it in this piece! I hope you enjoy it, and please review it as much as you critique it, I'd love to hear people's thoughts.

The story:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1r51dyvPzo_Z11m7PhQWXI0IJ6Wr8w5wWdTSl5aRPYZI/edit?usp=sharing

My critiques being used:
https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/pvca4d/2236_a_strange_breakfast/

My main issue with my writing is formatting the flow so that is isn't confusing as to the timeline but not too obvious that it screams out at you what is happening.