[1679] Eternal Damnation - Part 1

Hello,

I'll re-upload my original draft in chunks!

The setting and time weren't really defined here as I didn't really find it necessary, but let's just say modern.

And I can't really categorize its genre; it's certainly not sci-fi nor fantasy, but a bit of horror-like?

My story:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Zrd6VYANJIepFsuAe0fcz7G3OM6wIHHAqEwYJF9OFtY/edit?usp=sharing

My Critique:

[5237] https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/pvf8ae/5237_the_house_is_dying/

I know mine is not perfect by any mean; my friend said it was flowery and well written with some grammatical errors, but it's pretty fluffy; it's from my friend, so I took it with grains of salt.

And how do you think about my prose and writing? What are its strengths and weakness to improve?