fire
i go on a date with a guy from the internet and the world is set on fire
no, really
black smoke billows from the historic veins of a piso across the street
we watch from a rooftop bar, overpriced beers in hand, as ash falls on passeig de gracia
i tell him the things about myself that are supposed to be impressive– that, generally, i am good at things
with a charming british twang he tells me about "christmas in the lake district" and his anxious family dog– a mutt they rescued and gave the same name as my own
i make him stand outside my door as i charmingly tidy up my room
ever the lady, i was not prepared for company
in the middle of things i trace lines on his chest while he doesn't look at me
i am a bright shining thing
i am elusive i am impressive i am respected and i will let you fuck me so that you can't realize that there is no other way you could ever get inside
in this case i think there is probably only one inside you are interested in
he leaves immediately when he is done, unable to look at me the same after i am corrupted
confusing, as i expect more of a gesture from a guy who tells me his favorite film is notting hill
i strip my technically clean, morally reprehensible sheets and put them in the wash at the highest temperature
i curl up on my bare mattress
the synthetic cover is cool on my raw skin
i hold blankie– a part of me worries that she will turn to dust in my sick and dirty and tainted hands and fall
like ash on passeig de gracia
i get up to close my shutters although i know i will not be sleeping
i open the balcony door and hear the comforting lull of early morning barcelona traffic
i close my eyes
i feel the first light of morning touch my cheek
i am a bright shining thing
i smell fire
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Posted Oct 12, 2021, 2:46 PM UTC