[2313] A Stone in the Dark

Hi all.

I posted the opening from my Witch Hunter series a while back and got amazing feedback. After a bit of thought, I decided to completely start over. If you recall the characters and location from my last post, kindly forget it all.

I've shared the opening two scenes. Here are just a few things I'd like to hear about in particular.

• Is it engaging at all? Is it too slow? How about pacing?
• My prose: This is a big one. How's my sentence structure and 'readability.' Is it repetitive, dull, exciting, well-varied, etc., etc.
• Characters: What do you think of the two characters?
• Dialogue: Do Arthur and Hootch talk like real people, or does it feel stiff? Some have described my old writings as "maid-and-butlery." Does it seem that way?

I left comments turned on, so feel free to leave your thoughts in the margins. As always, try to keep it professional. Thanks, and I hope you have fun picking it apart :)

Link: Here

Critique Budget: [4965] found here