Imposter syndrome

No matter how many autistic traits I notice in myself and can remember doing since I was a kid, I cannot fully believe I’m autistic. I keep thinking it’s just me making things up, even though looking my counselor in the eye feels like being stabbed and touching silk makes my skin want to go into itself. I miss so many other traits or show them so minimally that it makes it hard to know (I even tried to get tested but it was waaaayyyy too expensive)