Healing is so slow but I'm trying

After hitting possibly rock bottom I'm doing my absolute best to get better, but everything feels so slow and I find it hard to believe that this is when I'll just stop having unhealthy meltdowns. It's so hard to be motivated, the sabotage urges are strong. The paranoia and urge to destroy everything is strong. But I'm trying.

How do you keep yourself on track? Is it really plausible that I'll only go up from here? I'm so scared of falling again.