Lmao cracking me up with the meta—no point, it’s a poem, might as well enjoy it for what it is right? 

I’d say the concept of love as the devil is interesting—true, sometimes. I’m always going back and forth between thinking we should bask in “sin” or set free by deliverance… one in the same? Some days.

Thanks Neumonia -- coming from you, no little poet and versifier yourself, such compliments are especially meaningful. Now, to answer your questions in a series of unnecessarily-protracted responses:

I find it interesting that you singled out the same one word as I had as not particularly belonging in the poem. I chose "cliffs" because originally the line read "as pebbles on the strand," but then I decided that was too cliched and needed to be replaced. My mind was still on geological features, and I first came up with the atrocious "as hills in all England," then modified "hills" to "cliffs" under the influence of a mental vision of the Cliffs of Dover, and then replaced "all England" with "every land" for metrical reasons. So the line acquired the form in which you read it, but despite some weak justification I made up about bungee-jumping I still felt "cliffs" didn't serve much of a purpose. I've now replaced it with "fools," which I think fits everything much better.

The identiti

My god, if I haven't said this enough already, you are truly a force of nature. Easily the strongest in metered poetry on this subreddit, and your lyricism is consistently unparalleled. Fucking fantastic; no criticisms. I think I'll just poke a little bit at the work...

"As cliffs in every land" - I'm curious about why you picked 'cliffs', specifically? There are plenty of things that are abundant, and, among those, plenty with only one syllable, so I can't say it's for rhyming reasons. In fact, the quick pace of the poem is not entirely complementary with the "fs" in the word, so I assume there to be symbolic meaning in the choice.

Did you have a person, or concept, in mind as far as the speaker of the poem? What about the respondent? 

Was the imagery in the first stanza simply introductory, or was there something particular about the "silver earrings", "bright hair", and "sable cloak"?

And, ironically, if I may say - I would think 'fear' and 'hell' to be adversaries. Seeing as th

Thank you! I've explained the earrings a little in my response to another commenter -- see there for more.

Oh my goodness this is amazing, I struggle so much with fear after some things that have happened to me and to see it personified in this way really gives me a new perspective. I love your word choices here and the imagery as well. I just have one question, do the jingly earrings represent something specific? Just curious

I find the sentimental language for this “nurse” particularly captivating. Your rhyming is subtle and adds to the poem a lot in my opinion. I also think your imagery is very strong which is something I can struggle with, your imagery gives a unique sense of romance to me. It’s more like an allure almost. I am also rather impressed with your use of old modern English. It gives a strange historical element to the titular nurse. Your dialogue use also gives a vivid image of the nurses character. Your final line is stark and strong, as previously said - I find your form and rhythm exceptional. I hope to take something from more readings of your poems.

This is a beautiful piece of writing. I really enjoy how playful with language you are and I especially loved the second stanza. 

Through my first few readings the last two lines really stood out to me in a way I didn’t like. I think they’re a little too straight-forward and I think it would suit the tone of the poem to be just a little more abstract with what you’re trying to say, if that makes sense? But sometimes a strong ending can make a poem, too, which might have been what you’re going for.


Oh, hi there; didn't see you! You've reached r/OCPoetry. This is a workshop site where you can share, read, and talk about eachother's poetry & etc. To post your own poems, you need to give feedback to 2 other writers. If you aren't trying to share, you're encouraged to give feedback, but aren't required. Try to be nice, questioning, and specific. If you can't do that - eat a cabbage and come back later. Try to give feedback to a writer without any feedback. Lastly, read our [feedback guide ](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), other writer's comments, or this author’s feedback links. If you still aren't sure whether your comments are useful ‘feedback’, or you have any other questions, send us a modmail!

*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OCPoetry) if you have any questions or concerns.*

My nurse, my nurse, where is she?  
Drest in a sable cloak,  
Bright-haired, with silver earrings  
That jangled as she spoke;  
And when she spoke, she never spoke amiss:  
Knowst where she is?

“Thy nurse, thy nurse hath left thee,  
The sprites have called her back;  
She culls the dreams of children  
For victuals in her sack;  
Then eats, grows wise, and leaves them dotards here:  
Her name is Fear.”

Is there not one who loves her,  
And thinks to court her hand?  
“She hath as many suitors  
As fools in every land.”  
And which among them likes her most, pray tell?  
“The Prince of Hell.”

EDIT: Line 16

[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/qy1w4d/comment/hlfzmca/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3) [2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/r02uca/comment/hlqmtuj/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

Song for Two Voices